February and March 1861---  

I haven’t had time to write in my journal.  I have spent 
my days attending the Virginia State Convention here in
Richmond.  These are dark days---that’s the way I will
always remember them.  They began on February 4. That’s
when the State voted for delegates to the State Convention
John Minor Botts was not elected. The one true person, that
could steer the convention in a moderate direction, would
not be allowed too.  The convention was destined to fall in
the hands of traitors.

Old President Tyler formed a Peace Convention. It
consisted of 131 delegates from 21 states. These noble
men went to Washington to offer a compromise to the Senate, 
to save the Union.  The delegates pleaded their case
for a month.  Finally on March 2, Sen. Crittenden proposed
an amendment to the Constitution, which comprised many
of the issues put forth by the Peace Convention. The
proposal was sadly rejected.

Things at the convention became worse and worse.
Everyone was awed by the coming woe.  Occasionally
someone would speak up for patriotism.  But all such
speeches fell on deaf ears. The Ordinance of Secession
seemed to gratify an innate feeling of pride in the 
people of Virginia.

The  women made me ashamed of my gender. They were 
the strongest advocates of secession.  These poor
women did not realize what tragedy they were bringing
upon themselves.  One delegate would was heard saying
to them often, "When you see your husbands, brothers,
and fathers brought home dead, you’ll think of this."

These are terrible days.They have caused a wound in
in my heart.  When this business is over, I will 
never speak of them again.

For two months I have listened to eloquent speeches 
at the convention.  I have seen tears in the tears 
in the eyes of many of the members. Well dressed
ladies would walk up to them and ask, "Do you see 
tears in my eyes?"

I saw women of the highest education walking up and
down the Capitol square asking the delegates as they 
passed, "Do you think the State will go out today?"

People have begun to flaunt the secession flag from 
their rooftops. I will never comprehend why so many 
people could race so blindly towards war.  Nor will I 
ever understand the lack of patriotism among the women.  
I know few who are for the Union---very, very few.

Elizabeth Van Lew , "Occasional Journal", 
Courtesy of the New York Public Library