July 25, 1861, at Rancocas, New Jersey

I went with Pa today to take a load of fresh picked corn to the farmers'
market over on the Trenton Pike.  I don't think I've ever seen so many
people in one place before.  I've been to the market with Pa in years past,
but never noticed that it was so crowded.

I guess that my noticing these kinds of things could have something to do
with me being grown now.  Before I was just interested in playing with the
other boys at the market and getting into mischief.  Now that I'm grown, I
look on the market as a place of business, and on the people there as
people willing to buy our corn.

Being grown isn't as much fun as being a child, but it sure is interesting. 
Pa was wheeling and dealing and I'm sure got more for our corn than any
other farmer there today.  Pa could sell an axe to a beaver.

While the market is always exciting, there was not as much excitement as in
the past.  There was a good deal of sadness and concern in the air.  Seems
our army has had its first real run in with the Southerners that were going
to be so easy to beat.

Word is our side got whipped pretty bad.  People are saying that them that
weren't shot or captured run like rabbits clear back to Washington, DC.  I
can't believe that anyone in the army of the USA would turn tail like that.

I think Pa believes it.  But, I'm sure that them Rebels tricked us in some
way because they could never beat us fair and square.  Me and some of the
other boys, I mean men, get together once a week down at the meeting house
and talk about the war.

Several of them have already left and more are talking about going.  Once
our army gets a few Burlington County men in it them Rebs will really be in
for it.  I think Pa's getting real worried about me running off and signing
up too.

I must confess, it is beginning to play on my mind.  I did promise Pa
though that I wouldn't do anything until after the harvest and that I would
talk it over with him first.  He says it's my decision but that I shook
seek guidance before making it.

Pa said that what Mr. Lincoln said about a house divided against itself was
true, but what worried me was that Pa said it seems now we've gone and set
fire to that house.  He said houses can be rebuilt but that they're never
the same.  He also said the people who live in them never sleep quite as
well as they used to either.

Sometimes I don't understand a thing Pa says.