April 21, 1861. Oak Hill, Loudoun County, Virginia.

I rode up to Leesburg for the day. Saltron is healthy and and strong
and he carried me the 20 miles there and back without much effort. He is the
finest horse in the state.

All is madness in town.  Since the secession vote was made official a 
few days ago, the militia is arming and drilling, and we understand that 
a huge gathering of friends of the south were attacked yesterday, brutally, 
by a Massachusetts infantry regiment marching through Baltimore on the way 
to Washington.. 

I was actually snubbed by an old friend in town today.  He knows, as does
everyone, that I opposed Vrigina's secession and have been struggling for
years with the question of slavery.  I own many servants, but I hope that I
can find a way and a time to eventually give them their freedom.  But I have
lived in a slaveholding society all my life, and I don't know what to do.
Many of us don't.  I have prayed over it for, and fretted over it, for years.

But now that entire subject must be set aside in the current war crisis. 
All rational thinking about the matter ended when that crazy old man, John 
Brown, attempted to lead a slave rebellion from Harpers Ferry a year and a 
half ago.

And then when Lincoln was elected last fall, things further fell apart, 
with radicals on both sides taking away all opportunities for gentlemanly
discussion on resolving the matter.
 
And then there's the Union!  Four of the nation's first five presidents
were  Virginians. One, Thomas Jefferson, wrote the Declaration of
Independence. Another, James Monroe, owned the very house I now share with 
my dear wife and children.  We Virginians are leaving a country we had a 
large hand in creating. I can't believe it.

But that matter too is done, and I today resolved that I will support the
state that has been my home--for all of my 35 years--and that of my family
and friends.  Though I have no military experience, I will volunteer and do
my duty. Mary Jane will have to manage in my absence, and I know she will do
just fine.  And since God has blessed us with considerable wealth, I will be
able to sustain myself and the family quite comfortably, come what may..

This is the crisis of our age, and I will have my role in it.  May God
again grant us our independence and freedom, just as He did in 1776.

      John W. Fairfax